Confidence is a tricky term to define and apply to our lives as it is changeable. We can feel confident in one area of our lives and then not another. Life is unpredictable and challenges to our confidence and self-esteem are part of every-day life. Inevitably, someone who lacks confidence is full of self-doubt, surprisingly it is not always related to lack of ability but to focusing too much on unrealistic expectations of others and society even.
Self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself, a healthy self-esteem is when we like ourselves for who we are, but many of us view ourselves on how others have made us feel at one point in our lives, for example an ex-partner or a school bully.
Some research suggests that action changes brain chemistry, Neuropsychologist Carla Shatz summed up the work of neuropsychologist Donald Hebb with the phrase ‘neurons that fire together wire together’ which means that every time we do something or even think something it becomes embedded in our brain, which suggests that behaviour can be changed and altered.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help by learning techniques and developing strategies to change negative thinking and build your self-confidence and self-esteem.
After all we are not born with confidence or lack of it, we have learnt it. Counselling can help you after all it helped me, I don’t recognise the person I used to be. The process helped me squash schemas (beliefs) that I held about myself since childhood that affected my everyday life and created my lack of confidence and self-esteem.